My Girl Scout Cookie Story

So I went to the store today. I was going to wait because it's snowy out... the roads didn't look bad but my driveway is coated, so even though I needed milk I'm all "I can wait."

Then I remembered today was cookie booth day. I had wanted to go to the cookie booth because I didn't buy any cookies from individual girls. So I'm like, yeah, milk can wait, but I'm not going to give up my one chance to totally ruin my diet for a while, especially considering there's a "massive" cookie boycott by the bigoted-by-design American Heritage Girls (or rather their parents), so I monster-trucked my way out of the driveway.

I told a girl who asked me if I wanted cookies that I'd be back when I was done shopping, so I go and I get my milk and come back. I think about it for a minute before saying "You know, I'll just take one of each."

To which the leaders/volunteers looked at me funny like "Whut? One of each whut?"

"One of each kind?" To which they looked at me as if I'd just bought ten cases of cookies, "Really?"

"Uh, yeah."

So one of the leaders scrambles with a bag looking all excited, the other starts doing math on a calculator to tell me what I owe. I gave them a twenty and told them to keep the rest. Which wasn't a lot but everybody was very excited about it.

(I'm getting the impression they didn't sell a lot of boxes today)

One of the leaders tells me I can keep them in the freezer, and I say I know because I used to be a Girl Scout. In reality I was thinking "Freeze them? You, sir, underestimate my ability to be fat."

As I left, I overheard one of the girls saying "Boys can be Girl Scouts?!" To which the leader replied, "I guess so."

Being called "trans" is really condescending.

I got into an argument I really shouldn't have.  I trick myself every time in to thinking I'm doing it "for people who happen to stumble on it," but that couldn't be further from the truth.  The reality was that I was angry because somebody was being a thinly-veiled transphobe.

I used the phrase "cis people" and the person told me to stop "being patronizing to 'cis' people."  Which, due to the scare quotes used around "cis" but never "trans," told me this was one of those people who gets offended when trans people use "cis" as an adjective for them.  Also ironic, considering they started two threads today specifically to provoke trans people.  But I'm not talking about that, I'm talking about people who take offense to being called 'cis."

They all give similar reasons.  Transphobic feminists might complain that  it "takes away women's right to determine their identification," because trans people clearly want cis women to call themselves cis women all of the time, and never just women (FYI, I'm being sarcastic, that's not true).  Other people might complain that they "never" hear trans people use "cis" in a way which is not patronizing.

The latter I can agree with to a point:  Sometimes some trans people do use cis as a pseudo-insult.  But there are a few things cis people need to realize about that:

1.  Cis people are privileged over trans people.  Because of that, we do not have the power to create useful anti-cis slurs.  Same reason nobody reasonably thinks saying "cracker" is usefully oppressing whites or "man-whore" is usefully oppressing men.
2. "Cis" is the opposite of "trans" and was chosen because it is etymologically fair.  The language people who object to "cis" use to describe themselves in the same context is almost always designed to "other" trans people in favor of cementing themselves as the "real" men or, more commonly, "real" women.
3. Despite comments to the contrary, this has happened before.  "Straight," for example, originated as slang used by gay people.
4. Some uses of cis are meant to be snide and obnoxious... but most of the time, the only real offense is that a trans person has hit a nerve regarding a cis person's privilege.  Basically, we have pointed out that the linguistic dynamic of "women versus trans women" or "men versus trans men" is wrong.
5. When you think about it, calling people "trans" is incredibly condescending, too, when you actually think about it.

The Birthday Card My Parents Gave Me

 It's my birthday on Tuesday, so all my family members were getting me cards and stuff.  This was my favorite, which is from my parents:

Awww, sweet, they refer to me as their son finally!  The best part is when you get to the inside, though, when you realize why Mom picked this card:

LOL!

Trans Names Remind Me Of Craft Names

So, in the Pagan/Wiccan/Witch community we have this thing called "craft names" or "magic names."  I don't use one, really, I just go by good old Jackson, but to a lot of people this is a really important issue.  They'll go through a different name every month, thinking it is 100% the most "them" name they have ever seen, and then a few weeks later they realize it's just not "them" anymore.

It's the same issue with trans people.  I see people go through name after name and really stress out about every little thing from what the cultural history of the name is to how creatively they can spell it, often winding up with something that rhymes with "Aidan."  You know, like Brayden, Kaden, Shayden, Jayden, Treyden, etc.

(I know it's a trans male cliché but you absolutely know it to be true.  It's a part of our culture we just have to deal with.)

Oh, believe me, I did the same thing.  I was Jack, Jacques, Jacob, and even tried having a hyphenated first name before I stuck with Jackson.  And when I did pick it, it was seriously as I was filling out the legal name change form.  "Oh God, what do I put here.  You know what?  My parents call me 'Jackson.'  Alright, going with it."  That was three years ago and I haven't had any of the stress I had when I was still skipping from name to name.

Is it absolutely 100% positively "me" all the time?  Does it raise my blood pressure out of excitement whenever I see it on a legal document or hear it spoken?  Do I feel as though there is no other name that could possibly be any better than mine?

Absolutely not.

In fact, sometimes I get annoyed by my name.  When I stuck that name on my name change form, I also changed my middle name to "Andrew," meaning it's "Andrew Jackson" backwards, and he is among my top ten least favorite American presidents.

In the long run, though, that's not the point.

The point is that we are talking about names, something most people don't get to choose anyway.  You're not going to find something that 100% fits you 100% of the time because you are not a name, you are a person.

Find a name... and then chill out.  If it takes you ten years, that's fine, but just remember that all of the doubts you have are probably going to be there all the time no matter what name you pick.  In fact, there are even guys who take a bunch of names they like, put them in a hat, and pull one out.

And it'll grow on you.  Seriously.  The reason most people feel like their names are "them" is that names are a mundane thing that we learn from infancy.  You just have to learn it when you're conscious enough to feel awkward about it, otherwise it's the same thing, and you'll totally be fine.