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Friday, May 25, 2012

22 weeks on T... and, well, it's been a while.

OK, I haven't been gone nearly as long as some defunct bloggers, but it's been almost a month so I decided to check in a bit.

It should be mentioned that I have real reasons for ducking out of the FTM online community periodically.  Most of them revolve around stress, largely trying to maintain my 4.0 GPA without murdering somebody in the process and trying to get another job.  And, well, at least I did preserve my GPA and I did get another job.  The semester is over now, meaning I may or may not write more; it all depends on how many hours I decide to take on from my first job.

So anyway, it's 22 weeks and one day on testosterone.  Thursday used to be "shot day" for me and, well, I switched it to Friday because I switched to Strohecker's Pharmacy and the delivery time made the change necessary.  Shot 23 was today, and I feel fantastic!  Most of the time, anyway.  The twin demons of dysphoria and regular old body image still get to me because, and I probably mentioned this before, I don't feel like I look or sound different.  Usually this is bearable because if I watch my old videos or look at old pictures I know that I do look different.

Plus, it's generally not that common a feeling for me because I'm largely stealth now.  Well, not entirely... there's a bit of baggage that comes with being "stealth" that I don't really carry.  Plenty of people know that I am transsexual and I don't hide it (just yesterday, for example, I disclosed it for a background check).  But since that's a subject that rarely comes up ("Hey, Jack, I was just wondering if you were transsexual?"  Yeah, no.), I don't disclose most places, and therefore most of the new people I meet have no clue.

Similarly, people who I met before I started physically transitioning seem to have forgotten in their own weird way.  I don't know.

But yeah, that's more a life update than anything.  Maybe I'll write something useful later.  For now, just know that I'm alive and well.