My name was once my nickname... way back when I was still a girl, my parents decided that "Jackson" was a cute nickname for "Jackie."
I hated it. Loathed it. I would not let them call me it.
Then, twenty years later, it was my legal name.
It wasn't like I didn't try finding a name that "sang" to me. Like most trans men, I "tried on" several names. I started with "Galvin" back when I wanted a hot, unique name. Then I set toward trying to find one for which "Jack" would not be a terrible nickname, because that was what people were predominantly calling me. I didn't feel like "John" was a good idea, I tried "Jacques" and "Jacob" and even "Jacob-Jacques" when I couldn't pick between those two.
When I finally decided to legally change my name, it was in a panic. I was going to be graduating in a couple of weeks and I didn't want them to call my female name. So I printed out the documents, thought about it for less than a minute, put "Jackson" because I figured my parents wouldn't have a problem calling me that, and it's been my name ever since.
Honestly? Best decision I ever made as far as my name goes.
I tell you this because it's like every ten minutes a trans man writes a post on a forum freaking out because he can't find a name that "suits him." It's like there's an expectation that any name of yours is going to have to be something that makes your heart skip a beat every time you hear it.
Guys, that almost never happens. And you don't need it to. Your name should be something you're comfortable with, ideally it should be something you don't hate but there are lots of people who hate their names, if you're worried about passing it should be something that projects "male," but it's not really worth the stress.
You know what my main bit of advice here, is? Having your name be "legal" could very easily solve your problem. I am not the only one who settled down with the name issue only because my name was legal and I couldn't change it anymore without throwing a bunch of money away. Why do you think most people don't change their names, even when they don't think they're awesome? Because we don't need names that are stunning, we need names that make us content.
