Trans Names Remind Me Of Craft Names

So, in the Pagan/Wiccan/Witch community we have this thing called "craft names" or "magic names."  I don't use one, really, I just go by good old Jackson, but to a lot of people this is a really important issue.  They'll go through a different name every month, thinking it is 100% the most "them" name they have ever seen, and then a few weeks later they realize it's just not "them" anymore.

It's the same issue with trans people.  I see people go through name after name and really stress out about every little thing from what the cultural history of the name is to how creatively they can spell it, often winding up with something that rhymes with "Aidan."  You know, like Brayden, Kaden, Shayden, Jayden, Treyden, etc.

(I know it's a trans male cliché but you absolutely know it to be true.  It's a part of our culture we just have to deal with.)

Oh, believe me, I did the same thing.  I was Jack, Jacques, Jacob, and even tried having a hyphenated first name before I stuck with Jackson.  And when I did pick it, it was seriously as I was filling out the legal name change form.  "Oh God, what do I put here.  You know what?  My parents call me 'Jackson.'  Alright, going with it."  That was three years ago and I haven't had any of the stress I had when I was still skipping from name to name.

Is it absolutely 100% positively "me" all the time?  Does it raise my blood pressure out of excitement whenever I see it on a legal document or hear it spoken?  Do I feel as though there is no other name that could possibly be any better than mine?

Absolutely not.

In fact, sometimes I get annoyed by my name.  When I stuck that name on my name change form, I also changed my middle name to "Andrew," meaning it's "Andrew Jackson" backwards, and he is among my top ten least favorite American presidents.

In the long run, though, that's not the point.

The point is that we are talking about names, something most people don't get to choose anyway.  You're not going to find something that 100% fits you 100% of the time because you are not a name, you are a person.

Find a name... and then chill out.  If it takes you ten years, that's fine, but just remember that all of the doubts you have are probably going to be there all the time no matter what name you pick.  In fact, there are even guys who take a bunch of names they like, put them in a hat, and pull one out.

And it'll grow on you.  Seriously.  The reason most people feel like their names are "them" is that names are a mundane thing that we learn from infancy.  You just have to learn it when you're conscious enough to feel awkward about it, otherwise it's the same thing, and you'll totally be fine.

Five-Minute Packer Pocket

Why is this in the "fashion" section?  I don't know.

I was thinking about soft packing lately.  It's not something I've done for a long time, although there are certain times in my month when I really, really want to do it (it's bizarre, I get hypermasculine).  The problem?  I wear boxer briefs.  I used to wear briefs, and I could just sit my packy in there, but that doesn't work anymore if I don't want my dick falling down my pant leg, so I stopped packing altogether.

Got sick of that, so I came up with a five minute solution until I find something better.

Step one: Find an oversize sock.  Set your packy inside and line it up with where it should be on your crotch.  Cut the sock off where it meets your waistline.

Take a few safety pins and pin it to the waistband of your underwear.  Like so:

This way it'll hang down but it won't slip down your leg.

The results aren't bad, either:

If you want something more permanent, you can sew it onto the waistband., although in such a case I would personally only sew one half of the sock so I could get the packy out.

An introduction to men's jewelry

Like many transguys, I like my jewelry. I don't wear as much as I used to, but I do have quite a bit and have learned a few things over the years about what kind of jewelry has sabotaged my ability to pass, and other jewelry which has helped me. That is the subject of this essay.

Note: I format this as "stuff I do to pass" because I don't want to give the impression that these tips are going to work for everyone.  Also, to aid in your deciding whether these tips are going to work for you, I am white, 5'8", large-framed, and I live in Wisconsin.