This is something that's been nagging at me for a really long time, and I think it's important here--a space which is mostly meant for trans men but also for some varieties of non-trans-men who Google-through to particular pages. And yes, it's a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend kind of story, but the fact is there are lots of people--trans men and otherwise--who don't understand that you can't always pick and choose what testosterone does to you.
This friend-of-a-friend case involves a cis woman who loves the idea of being a bearded lady. I'm not sure what the whole story is, here, except that she was looking for illicit sources of testosterone so that she could attain this appearance.
It's not the goal I have a problem with. Why should I care if a woman wants a beard? I wish society stopped making women who do have facial hair so damned uncomfortable with it (same thing with the obligation to shave places that most women do have hair). If testosterone achieved what she wanted it to, the need to write this essay would not exist.
But it doesn't.
Personally, at five months on T I have a little facial hair, enough to help me pass and thin out my face a little. Not a whole hell of a lot, though. And most guys I know don't have nearly the amount I do at this time. Some have to be on a full dose of T for years before it comes.
However, at five months my hairline is receding a little, my face shape changed, my musculature changed, and most importantly, even without visual context my voice is male-sounding enough that I have only been misheard as female once in the last four months.
You can't just say "I'm going to grow a beard and nothing else." If they could make custom batches of T for different effects, there aren't that many guys who would go for "the works." We'd do what any normal guy would do and try to prevent going bald and getting acne. Which reminds me: I'm not saying that if you are on testosterone or really plan to go on it you can't try to mold the effects of it. Shaping your body through exercise and diet, trying to avoid losing hair by using Rogaine or Propecia, getting rid of acne by using antibiotics or topical medications, these are all ways people try dealing with the effects of T they don't want. Everybody, not just trans men.
But there are several things you can't pick and choose, and the ones you can you can only pick and choose sometimes. Rogaine doesn't work for everybody. Not everybody can maintain a workout regimen that will get them where they want to be. Voice training to get your voice back into a female range doesn't always work. And these could all be things you need to deal with before you get the effects you do want.
"Well, I can just stop when I get to the point I want to be at." Yes, you can do that. Many people have: Trans men who change their minds or have health problems, trans men who don't want to go bald, female-bodied genderqueer people who want some masculinization... but be aware that you can't pick when these changes are going to happen, and some of them may go right back to your pre-T levels when you get off of T, and if your ovaries have shut down already you could go through a lot of emotional pain while they start back up again.
My point here is that you need to really know what you're getting into, because you might not be getting what you want.
