This list is written as a way to hopefully slap people into an understanding of what is really going on in my life. It seems that no matter how I try getting people to understand what my gender identity really, they still consistently ask me "Why?" or "Why not?" when they learn I do certain things or refuse to do others. I don't understand how I can make this more explicit to you people, so for some of you this will be my last attempt.
- Why do I keep cutting my hair as soon as it starts "getting to a length that looks good on me?"
- Because you are judging my appearance under the assumption that I am a woman. The reason you think my hair looks "better" on me when it is longer is because you are still viewing me as a woman. I am not.
- Why don't I shave my legs or under my arms?
- Because in my culture women are the ones who regularly shave their legs and underarms. Men do not. I am not a woman. I am a man.
- On a side-note, I don't understand why you care about women's shavinghabits so much either.
- Why don't I know my clothing and shoe sizes in women's sizes?
- Because I do not wear women's clothing and I do not wear women's shoes. I do not wear them because I am neither a woman nor a crossdresser nor any other sort of man who would wear women's clothing.
- Why did I refuse to be a bridesmaid in my cousin's wedding?
- Because bridesmaids are women. I am not.
- Why do you need to go through this therapy and hormone stuff now? Why can't you wait a little longer?
- Because I am a man who did not develop properly and have a medical need to do so before I have spent half my life essentially being pre-pubescent. I've already lived 26 years this way, why should I feel obligated to do it any longer?
- Why did you put "male" on the census form? on Facebook? etc.?
- Because I am male.
- Why, when I asked you to get into groups of "men" and "women," did you go to the "men's" side?
- Because I am a man.
- Why does it say on my Facebook that you are my brother? son? nephew? grandson?
- Because I am a man, not your sister or daughter or neice or granddaughter.
- Why don't you just identify as a straight woman?
- Because I am not a woman. Why don't gay guys all transition?
- Why didn't you accept the shorts that your grandmother gave you?
- Because they were women's shorts and I am not a woman.
If there is anything you would feel absolutely fucking stupid asking a cisgender/biological male, there is absolutely no fucking reason you should be asking me.
Come on. Would you go to my brother and ask him why he doesn't identify as a lesbian? Or ask your best guy friend to be your matron of honor? Why don't you go ask your father why he doesn't shave his legs once? Could I honestly have not made it more clear?
It doesn't matter that I am not cis. I am still a man. And your intolerable load of stupid questions that you would not ask cis men proves to me time and time again that you have absolutely no idea what I'm really about, no matter how mind-numbingly simple it is.
